Hey

I feel that there's some profound sadness in this song.

listening to your parents

I seriously think the reason I didn't listen to my parents a lot was because they gave oversimplified justifications for a lot of their decisions and expected me to do what I was told based on the fact that they were my parents.

I like how the command "Listen to your parents." literally means *hear what your parents have to say*, but is universally taken as "Do what your parents say." Maybe it's because we used to think that if you actually listen to what your parents have to say you'll end up doing what they say. I don't know if we think this anymore. It certainly isn't true.

Even if my parents made good decisions, they gave me bogus justifications. And my parents are very good parents.

I think as a parent you know what works and what doesn't, what's good and what's not (or some approximation of it), but you don't necessarily remember why it works or why it's good -- things just become habit. So when it comes to bringing up children, it's convenient for parents to supply simple, easy to remember reasons for their kids to understand and accept or to avoid justification at all with the perennial "You'll understand when you're older./You'll thank me when you're older./Trust me./It's for your own good."

Some of my favorite justifications for things:

Don't Lie. You'll get in twice as much trouble if you do something wrong and lie about it.

Don't steal. We will find out.

Wear nice clothes. They look better./People will like you more.

Keep your mouth closed and lips together when you chew. "Smacking" is rude.

None of these reasons were ever compelling to me on a moral level.
Sorry Mom, Sorry Dad. Much love!