I reckon

that things are more complicated than you [can] think. It's hard to accept uncertainty, and in the course of daily life I suppose we have to act certain about some things. But I think we often run into problems thinking things to be so clear-cut. We like to simplify. We have to simplify. It's evolutionarily advantageous for our survival (like a local optimum). It's efficient. Conserves energy. Human understanding has its limits, so we have to bend the world to fit within the boundaries of our understanding. That's the only way it all makes sense. I'm suspicious when things make too much sense. Something's bent.

None of this is remotely practical, but I'm through with practicality. If I were a machine, I'd be doing economics instead of philosophy.

Everything I know or think I know is used to configure a framework for "seeing" the world. If I take the things I know to be less clear-cut, more uncertain, less stable, I get a more "open" view of the world (as contrasted with the popular phrase "narrow-minded"). The world opens up, if you like. It's easier to slide my knowledge around and reconfigure new and more sophisticated frameworks for thinking and perceiving the world. I don't know what truth we can aspire to. We have to realize that we can't help but bend things to make sense. Human understanding covers a fairly wide range (to what do I compare it to?), but a finite range none the less. All we have are interpretations. Interpretations are never "wrong." It's not wrong that we bend things, and I don't see it as a condition to be overcome. That I see it, however, is important.

Things that do make "perfect" sense to us most likely only do so because they are parts of a system, a worldview, that we invented -- that we've bent into shape because we find it meaningful. Myths. Sometimes myths we live by.

So I'm building up a tolerance for uncertainty. You may not be thick if you don't understand the world; you may not be thick if it doesn't make sense. Don't always let yourself bend it, whatever it is you're trying to comprehend. Sometimes allow things to seem unstable.

Your brain may fall out; I don't know. I think it'll be okay if you're open-minded but pay attention to your feelings.

I really like when something prompts a radical alteration in my perspective of things. My experience from then on is deepened and more attuned. Each time I am repeatedly aware of many more uncertainties as well. My worldview has to be ever reconfigured to make meaning of particular uncertainties, and each time inevitably reconfigured in such a way that a different set of uncertainties crop up (sometimes "tainting" ideas and views which used to stand firm and unchallenged).

That's what I reckon.

INWARD BOUND IS A DANGEROUS ACTIVITY

...is the sub-heading on the Indemnity Form. Further:

As a participant of Inward Bound I understand I will be exposed to SIGNIFICANT RISKS OF PERSONAL INJURY, and possibly, death.

Some risks include:

• unmarked hazards (eg. cliffs, rivers, creeks, fences, low-lying trees)
• rugged terrain and unpredictable conditions
• bad weather
• darkness and poor light
• plants and animals
• contaminated water
• dehydration
• getting lost
• contact with vehicles on roads
• heat temperature exposure
  
• cold temperature exposure (eg. possible risk of hypothermia)
• fatigue and personal bodily injuries due to long-term exercise
• disparity in experience or condition of participants
• disparity in maturity or competitiveness of participants

I release the ANU Interhall Sports Club Incorporated, its members, employees, volunteers and agents from any liability for any negligence.

I have read this indemnity form, understand its contents and agree that its terms and conditions bind me and my heirs and successors.

--I take it seriously but, at the same time, it's a bit humorous.

it's official

...I've been placed in the fourth of 7 divisions, where the lower one's division the more kilometers one will race. I'm set to run somewhere between 50 - 60 km (31-37 miles) with my three teammates, one of whom is our navigator and another our assistant nav. Each residence hall will send a team to compete in each division. And the hall whose teams accumulate the most points across divisions will essentially "win" IB. We'll be blindfolded, transported, and dropped-off on April 3rd at around 10 or 11PM somewhere 50 kilometers from campus (on a mountain or in the bush) and will navigate back to campus with our head torches, maps, compasses, and other supplies. Our packs will weigh about 8 kilograms (18 Llbs) each. We won't reach campus and the finish line until sometime the next morning, April 4. This will be the most I will have ever put my body through.

weird

on making the most of my experience

I had been feeling this great pressure to do a lot of traveling to really take advantage of my experience in Australia. I'm realizing now that I don't need to see it all to make this experience great.

So I think that I will not worry about traveling to as many places as possible while I'm at ANU (which is totally an awesome university for an international student to study at!). I hope to hit Sydney and Melbourne and I will not be unhappy if I don't have the time or money to travel to other major locations.

The way I see it, I'm getting so much out of just being here, meeting new people, and learning new things in a new setting. I couldn't take full advantage of all the opportunities here at ANU even if I dropped all my classes. I'm getting involved and it's really great. With all that's going on, I'm only worried about focusing on my classes when there are so many other worthwhile ways to spend my time.

I committed to doing the IB run today. We went out shopping this morning for gear and supplies and I got a running/travel hiking backpack, a water bladder, thermal under-wear, and a head torch -- all required for the competition (which is sometime around April 3 or 4th). I'm seriously excited about this. Everyone is, it's contagious.

I've also been very keen about finding time to practice field hockey. About a week ago I would not have been at all interested in playing field hockey because I still had it in my head that it was a girl's sport (as for the most part it is where I live in the U.S.). But it's a very intense game, and parallels well to soccer, actually.

Weekly PhilSoc (ANU Philosophy Society) talks/lectures/debates are part of my schedule as well. I listened to a heated argument about human rights at the last meeting I attended. The two arguing were doing so quite vigorously, if that helps paint the scene. I almost wanted to chip in at one point, but then I wasn't sure if what I was going to say was on mark, and I certainly did not want to step into such a vehement exchange without being sure.

I'm having a lot of trouble making sense of my text for Adv Continental Phil, The Experience of Freedom by Jean-Luc Nancy, partly, I think, because of the syle of the writing and partly because the ideas presented are completely foreign to me and I'm not yet in the habit of thinking from a "continental" (for lack of a better phrase) perspective. My Adv Analytic Phil text is closer to the philosophy I've done at UMBC, but still difficult.

I don't really know how to close this entry, but I also don't have anything more to say right now.