authenticity

I’m sure there are infinitely many insights to be had; so while every insight is a nice temporary high (some greater than others), I don't think that there exists some End where you have had so many insights that everything becomes illuminated. I do think that insight makes living life a richer experience and, somewhat ironically, reveals that things are ever more mysterious than we previously thought, as insight, generally speaking, brings with it new or more sophisticated ways of seeing the world, giving reality more depth. Life really is a struggle, in my opinion. But I think I can appreciate that. I am never more satisfied than when I have run my heart out or overcome some challenge. But I don't necessarily think of overcoming as "conquering." I mean, first of all, it seems rather superficial to just conquer things and people purely for the sake of conquering them. Besides, in the scope of the universe, whatever "conquering" we can do is negligible. So, instead, when I talk about overcoming a challenge I mean something more akin to a triumph of the "self," however that is to be measured.

Because of some recent reading, I'm inclined to believe that every decision we make can be as significant as we want to admit. (In what way a choice or decision is important is another issue altogether.) So while the "small potatoes" attitude might be appropriate after the fact to avoid excessive mental and physical stressing about a choice made (we shouldn’t dwell forever about a mistake we’ve made!), the choices themselves are where we encounter the self. The idea is that who we are and what we do are consequences of the choices we make. I am neither essentially evil, nor essentially good -- I can, in fact, choose to act in either way. And nothing stops me from acting either way. That is our great freedom, that nothing stops us. We are free because nothing holds us back.

We can choose to evade or deny our freedom by living “un-authentically” in any number of ways: we can just do what everyone else does, we can do what others tell us, we can do what has been done in the past, we can deny that we have any control over our action, we can claim that who we are is a product of sources outside of ourselves, etc. All ways that people often avoid the “burden” of thinking for themselves. All ways that people avoid living authentically. I think it is especially difficult this day in age to break away from being just a cog in this civilized machine. There are so many rules and expectations we are born into and that we are never encouraged to question (only to accept); we are expected to perform our social function in society, which is often how the value of our personhood is determined. So if we follow precedent without thinking because we're so used to conforming then we're not exactly exercising our own freedom. A large part of thinking for yourself includes realizing how your life is controlled or laid out for you. Once you're aware of all the little things you do like wear a suit because that is the only acceptable style of dress at work, or eat meat because you've always eaten it, or go to church because you've always gone, then you can start to consider whether any of these things is acceptable to you. Hence, it is a struggle to live authentically. Living authentically means acting not out of fear or conformity, but for reasons that you believe and can hopefully justify. This way of thinking has convinced me that life can be as deep (authentic) or as shallow (unauthentic) as we are able to make it.

I have to credit Irrational Man as the source for most of these ideas.